insane ramblings of a sitcome zombie

modern times: click the link on the fax

rnr7787 — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 22:36:03 +0000

I got a message from a client today telling me they would “fax me the url for their website.”

Yes you read that right, fax me a link to their website.

Not only is it archaic, its downright fucking absurd.

I got this info after spotting a plane skywriting the message to call this client in the first place.

Okay that second part is made up, but the first part is true.

In return I postal mailed them an email I printed out.

That’s not true either, but I am tempted to do it.

sweet sweat sock nectar

rnr7787 — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 01:32:57 +0000

suffice to say, i am back on the coffee.

my sig, bless her heart, buys me
non-fat lattes.

these anti-fatty lattes – when they are good… are
fucking brilliant.

today my latte was not so good…not
so brilliant.

what is the opposite of brilliant?
I think it is dingleberry. My latte is/was a dingleberry.

as a matter of fact…the dingle-latte tasted like old used
gym socks laced with acid and rotten milk.

the lady coughed up 8 bucks for these two
putrid pieces of shit.

would you pay 4 dollars to have someone
take a shit in a cup and add hot water?

my cat could make a better latte. here is a picture
of a cat (not mine) making part of a latte.

notice the look on the cat’s face. he is making art.

Why do I keep drinking this shit? I cant stop!

ahhhhhhh!!!!

I just spilled my dingleberry latte on my keyboard.

Miss Piggy cheats on Kermit

rnr7787 — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 01:22:35 +0000

Swine flu is all over the media

It came from the pigs and now it is in humans. Please watch this informative video.

We are all going to die!!!!

What I want to know is how the first

human got it from the pig.

How does that work?

Fluid transfer thats how!

Gross. I am sorry for that, but c’mon it’s not like the pig touched a door knob.

I hope they gave that pig a cigarette.

We are all doomed!!!!

This just in…they found the pig that did it.

See below:

That is just sad. I feel bad for Kermit.

Frogs are already dying off from global

warming or el nino or something and now

he gets an STD from bacon.

Rumor has it Jim Henson died from the swine flu. Think about that.

That is horrible thing to say. It is also not true.

I am sick.

I think tonight I will write my first novel. You’re welcome.

Earwig is my co-pilot

rnr7787 — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 22:44:33 +0000

So the phone went out today, one of them iPhones.
No SIM card it says…bash it in the face I say.

But I guess that is taking it a little too far…

I really have it in for inanimate objects
sometime.

One time i launched the remote control out
of my apartment building

It achieved a better orbit than Mir

I have also broken three phones in my
time.

If there is a heaven, I hope the God or gods
are not cell phones….

…or earwigs

Look at this guy…

Disgusting…

Why earwigs?

…cause i hate them…I used to roast them with
rustoleum

I found the rustoleum in the old shed behind
my house.

Later i read that serial killers torture things as
kids.

Great. Just fucking great. I hope earwig BBQs fail to
qualify as serial killer training.

…and everyone kills mosquitoes…all the time…

I sell advertising by the way. Not murder.